Why I Run

So, in light of beginning my marathon training schedule today in preparation for the SunTrust National Marathon in Washington, DC, March, 26 2011, I’ve been trying to rationalize this crazy new addiction to running I have.  I’ve come up with a few reasons:

1.       I have quite the affinity for technical fabric.

2.       It gives me a non-perverted excuse to rub petroleum jelly on my nipples and bum.

3.       “Carb loading” as an excuse to eat excessive amounts of pasta.

4.       My toenails have lived their life, and now just need to move along.

5.       Finisher’s medals.  Enough said.

6.       Perpetual playlist perfection.

7.       Justification for a guy to have a shoe fetish.

8.       Post-race meal:  whatever the hell I want.  After I’ve been running for hours on end, who the hell are you to judge the fact that I’m eating 147 cajun spiced chicken wings and drinking 147 ounces of beer?  What did you do that Sunday morning? Oh yeah, slept till 10am.

9.       The quiet nobility of blisters.

10.   Restoration of the metabolism I had as a teenager.

11.   Race spectators.  Seriously, the people that come out to stand on the side of the road for a marathon or half-marathon are just amazing.  And some of them give out beer.

12.   Gizmos:  iPhone apps, GPS watches, noise-cancelling headphones, oh my!

13.   My legs look great in those tiny shorts.

14.   Small packets of gel loaded with carbs and caffeine.

15.   The 30 pounds, two inches in my waist, and 6 body fat percentage points I lost, and have no intention of ever recovering.

16.   Gawking at all the newest stuff at the race expo.

17.   The much talked about “runner’s high.”  Yeah, it exists.

18.   Icing down.  Is it wrong that I enjoy it?

19.   “I wanna go fast!”

20.   And finally, and seriously, I’ve seen many times what a lifetime of bad habits such as smoking, poor diet, and sedentary lifestyle can do and the havoc they can wreak on someone’s body.  I’ve seen the pain a person can feel watching their loved one waste away, damned to live the rest of their life tethered to an oxygen machine because their lungs are wrecked, or to a bed because they’re too obese to move .  I don’t want that life for me, or to have my family live on the other side of that story.  I want to set an example to my daughter of how an active lifestyle can extend your life and vitality.  That, and get some more finisher’s medals and cool t-shirts.

Veteran's Day Tribute to Army Spouses

On Veterans Day, let's not forget those service members may have husbands or wives who serve alongside them through it all.  I always thought this was super funny, I can't take credit for it: 
Army Wedding Vows

Dear family and friends, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and the Department of the Army, to witness this exchange of vows, and see the love that these two dedicated, loving people have for one another.

"Wilt thou, __________, take ___________ (who will now be referred to as the"dependent"), as your family member, to dwell together in so far as the Department of the Army will permit?" "Wilt thou love her, comfort her, via the postal service or over the phone, make sure she knows where the commissary, PX, and church are, and what time she is scheduled to use the laundry room the day she arrives, wherever you are stationed?"

"Wilt thou attempt to tell her more than 24 hours in advance that you will be leaving for two weeks, beginning the next morning?" This especially applies to the years you will live in a foreign country!

"Wilt thou ____________ , take this soldier as thy wedded husband, knowing that he is depending upon you to be the perfect (well almost) Army wife, running the household as you see fit, and being nice to the commander's wife?" Furthermore, you understand that your life with your husband (little that you may have together) will not be normal, that you may have to explain to your children, not once, but twice, and more often in the same day, that mothers do have husbands, and that children do have daddy's, and that the picture of the man on the refrigerator is not the milkman, but the same individual who tucks them in at 2200 hours, long after they are asleep. This soldier is their daddy, who loves them very, very much.

"Wilt thou love, respect and wait for him, preparing his favorite cookies and pictures of yourself and the kids, so he can remember what you look like?" And last but not least, put on the outside of your door his "Welcome home" sign when he's due to arrive?"

"I, ____, take thee ____, as my independent wife, from 1900 to 2200 hours or as long as allowed by my Commanding Officer (subject to change without notice), for better or worse, earlier or later, near or far, and I promise to look at the pictures you send me, maybe not when they get to me in the field, but before I turn the lights out. I will also send a letter, if time permits, and if not, to somehow, some way, make the time."

"I, _________, take thee _________ as my live-in/live-out husband, realizing that your comings and goings and 0330 staff meetings are normal (although absurd to me) and part of your life as a soldier. I promise not to be shocked or taken by surprise when you inform me that, although we've just arrived at our new duty station, we will be leaving within the month. Yes, I'll have you as my husband as long as while your are away, my allotment comes through regularly, and that you leave me a current power of attorney and the checkbook at all times. I am a famil y member and proud of it, dependent upon myself and my resources. Although I miss you when you are away, I know I can handle whatever comes across my path."

"Now then, let no man or woman put us under what God and the Department of the Army have brought together. The Army hereby issues you this lovely, dedicated, independent woman, knowing that she'll be an asset not only to your marriage, but also to the mission of the United States Army, which is, as you all know, to remain in a state of "Readiness." By the authority vested in the Bible, elaborated in the regulation and subject to current directives concerning the aspects of marriage in the Army, you are now a Soldier with a Family Member. Best Wishes and good Luck."

Veteran's Day 2011

So, again, I must begin a new blog with the disclaimer that I have neglected my literary and artistic callings for an extended period  of time.  Provided there is someone out there that is misguided enough to actually enjoy reading my delusional musings, I sincerely apologize for my apathetic state over the past 8 weeks.  However, the past couple of months have once again swept me away in a wave of fast-paced life change, as I am now in a different time zone and living in what could be considered the "womb" of America, where our nation was conceived in liberty, grew, and began to develop into the nation it now is.  That is, I'm in Virginia. 

Speaking of  America, Liberty, Freedom, all that schtuff, I'd like to say that, for the first time since 2005, I'm not a "veteran" per se, anymore.  I'm officially back in the uniform of the United States Army as a Regular Army officer once more.  After a year of hard work, paperwork, fighting, kicking, screaming, pissing off very high ranking officers, making other high ranking officers happy, and all in all placating the system as a whole, I finally got back in for good.  I've realized over the past few years, whilst living in and dealing with the utopia that others live in called "civilian life," that that's just not for me, and that I've been happier in the past five months back on Active Duty than I have been in the past five years since I left.  On October 20, I once again raised my right hand and took that solemn oath that "having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States in the grade of Captain, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic."

That said, on Thursday our nation will observe Veteran's Day.  For many, this is just another day that you have to deal with banks and post offices being closed, and if you live in a city that is a capital, then maybe you'll have less traffic on your way to work.  Well, take a minute to remember the reason you won't get mail  or be able to deposit a check.  There are hundreds of thousands of men and women that at one point  raised their right hand to swear to support and defend the Constitution as well.  Regardless of the reasoning behind their taking of that oath, be it college money, patriotic calling, unemployment, or just no other options, let us not forget the fact they took that oath and offered themselves up to the nation to serve and possibly die for our way of life and all we hold dear.  Many of these men and women have served multiple occasions away from family, friends, home, and all the comforts contained therein, and have returned changed mentally, physically, and emotionally.  Our country asks a lot of its military, and just because someone doesn't serve 20+ years in uniform doesn't mean they didn't pay the price for freedom, and return their debt to the nation with interest.  For that, we remember this Veteran's Day.  God bless you all, God bless America, and God bless our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines.